


We Are Young And We're Ashamed

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Anxiety, Character Study, Depression, Existential Crisis, F/F, Girls' Night Out, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Loneliness, Sad, Shame, Song: Perfect Places (Lorde)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24814969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Soojin and Shuhua are crippled by the teenage culture and it's expectations, and are too ashamed of themselves to put it into full words. They're scares of growing up, and just being them
Relationships: Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Kudos: 12





	We Are Young And We're Ashamed

**Author's Note:**

> This is quite a sad work, but, I hope you can take something away from it  
> Hit me up on Instagram at @theartoftootimingyou

Soojin and Shuhua sat on the brick wall the fenced off the backyard space of the pub silently, their legs swinging a little bit and both of them getting headaches and nose-bleeds from the concerntration of thinking about nothing. Maybe it was best to just own it. They were young and they were ashamed. Ashamed of the foolishness, of the recklessness, of pushing people away, of getting the claws out, crying their eyes out, screaming their lungs out. And in what hope? Perfect places?

Fuck off.

"I can't stand to be alone." Shuhua whispered to Soojin. 

"I feel like that everynight I live and die." Soojin whispered back.

Both Soojin and Shuhua felt better as they thought about it like that; they were young and ashamed. Sitting on a brick wall at the back of a pub in denim and leather jackets, mini-dresses, make-up, boots and heels, tights, make-up, the jewelry across their skin, in a fucked-up school system with a fucked-up society for young people that is only fucked-up because all the young people fuck it up. They insist they invented the wheel but then fall asleep at it and -

"This sucks so much." Shuhua shivered. Soojin reached out and clasped Shuhua's bony knee. Most people thought and said aloud that Shuhua and Soojin were underweight.

"You know what I want?" Soojin whispered. Shuhua hummed, saying she was listening. Soojin lit a cigarette. "I want to go home, make a huge bonfire, and just watch the wood burn and the fire...y'know? Maybe dance. And drink. But, y'know, not alcohol. Like...tea in a beer bottle. Make it not real but give the effect. Just you and me. There's no parents and no one calls the fire brigade. It's just us for a couple of minutes...times. You for you and me for me...be human for once in a while."

"Sleep in the garden in front of the fire and it keeps us warm and doesn't set us or our hair on fire..." Shuhua contributed to the dream. Soojin hummed. She smoked the cigarette. She looked to Shuhua. "You know what this is?"

Shuhua shook her head.

"This is the only thing that lets me get rid of all that shame. I try to relax and breathe out all that horrible stuff, but, no, it has to go into the smoke that then comes out of me..." Soojin broke off her words. She couldn't add anymore intelligently or coherently and Shuhua got what she meant anyway.

"Repeat after me." Shuhua wriggled her shoulders from side to side, dancing slowly. "We are young and we're a-shamed. Sing it softly."

Soojin tried it by herself once, and then with Shuhua. "We are young and we're a-shamed. We are young and we're a-shamed."

The girls sung the song.

"We are young and we're a-shamed..."

They sung the song all night.

"We are young and we're a-shamed."

Tears rolled down Soojin's face and Shuhua twisted her hair around her fingertips.

"We are young and we're a-shamed."


End file.
